Recognizing your own needs
Becoming a parent comes with a whirlwind of emotions – happiness, love but also stress and fatigue. You’ve been taking care of a baby whose only means of communication is crying and who wakes up every three hours. The needs you’ve been addressing haven’t been yours. So take some time and think about what you need for yourself right now.
- How are you feeling? Are you tired? Stressed? Lonely?
- What would be most helpful to you right now? Do you need someone to watch baby for a bit so you could take a shower? Or does help mean someone bringing over dinner or assisting with chores?
- What can you do to feel more connected to yourself? What enjoyable things haven’t you had time for since baby?
Be open and honest with yourself. It’s normal to want time away from baby, to have strong emotions and to be frustrated or overwhelmed. Attending to your own needs can help, and make you a more patient and engaged parent.
Getting help from family and friends
Now that you’ve thought about what you need, it’s okay to ask your social network for help to get it. Parenthood can feel lonely. You may be out of sync with your usual interpersonal relationships after sleepless nights and staying home. But those ties – to family and friends, colleagues, your healthcare providers, and your community– are important to taking care of your health and baby’s.
- Stay in touch not just with your feelings, but the people who may have insight into them. Talk to friends, family and your doctors about how you’re doing mentally and physically. It can be easy to overlook your health right now in favor of baby’s, but open communication helps to make sure you are getting the support and resources you need as well.
- Ask a friend or family member to visit you at your home. You’ll stay socially engaged and get an extra pair of eyes on baby.
- Talk to other parents. People who have taken care of young babies before can empathize with you. And, they may have advice you didn’t know about to help.
- It’s okay to ask a trusted friend or family member to organize help on your behalf. It takes a village to raise children and your village is likely willing to support you more than you think, but may need direction. A favorite co-worker can organize a meal train for you, or baby’s grandparents can create a calendar for support visits.
- Plan time for yourself away from baby. Find a loved one to watch your baby for a few hours so that you can devote time to your interests. Go on a date night, socialize with friends or just take a walk or read a book by yourself. Make this time about you and not baby